Recently, I came across the word, "weltschmerz". It had a number of different definitions but the definition that struck me most was the one that read, "sorrow that one feels and accepts as one's necessary portion in life". This stood out to me because it was like it described my relationship with my depression exactly. I've been depressed for the better part of my thirty years...ever since I lost my parents. I had such a strong bond with my depression that it became a silent partner in the bid for my life. As an adult, I didn't even realize that I was depressed because it because it was so normal.
It was around the time that I accepted God into my life that I lost my depression. I say "lost" because I actually was so attached to it that I began looking for it! Bizarre, I know. I was trying to remember where and how I could have just left it behind. I believe that behavioral therapy, my God encounter and my resulting token abstinence. Nevertheless, I'm glad it's gone and hope, wish and pray it never to return again.
